I’ve been absent lately from blogging. (OK OK I’m almost always absent but attendance isn’t mandatory right?) During the last week I’ve been busy on other things like reading (gasp!) the first book I’ve finished in a few years, writing a guest blog post (you know you can’t wait!), going through my wedding pictures, discovering that I NEED a monitor calibrator to save myself a lot of grief and spending some much needed time with my son.
A week or so ago I hopped over to Tara Whitney’s blog to see her philosophy and I found more than I bargained for. A gentle, yet striking, reminder of why I do this. Then I started to click through the images on my wedding discs to print an album after nearly 7 years, and was reminded of how I’ve changed.
There are things that my husband does now that really irritate me. When I opened the files from the wedding, I realized they aren’t new things that he does. There are pictures to prove that I knew what I was signing up for and that I liked it! I’ve gotten so caught up in the everyday struggles of life that I lost sight of what’s really important. I know that there will always be days, like today, when I just lose it and I need to a retreat, but my goal is that I will return to the place in my heart where this crazy family of mine is a haven. Some days I just want to get away. I don’t want to be touched or spoken to or kissed or hugged or fed. I only want to run. But I can’t, not just metaphorically but literally. There was a time, not so long ago, that when I felt that way I ran straight to those nutty antics because they meant I was surrounded by love and protection. How have I come so far in the other direction? I’m not sure but I don’t think I’m going to find the answer of Facebook or Bing so if you miss me, know that I’m around but I’m focusing on some more important things. I’m certainly not giving up on posting things for you all but I won’t be reading endless pages of news feeds or search results daily.
Stay well you guys and call me up for a walk!